MENYA UKO WAHANGANA NO KWICUZA

Ubuzima bwuzuyemo amahitamo n’ inzira abantu batanyuramo, ntibitangaje kuba abantu rimwe na rimwe bicuza kubera imyanzuro bafashe n’ indi batafashe.

Kwicuza bishobora kuba amarangamutima yuzuyemo umubabaro. Nubwo biva mu kumva udakwiye, utengushywe, wishinja ikosa ku bintu byabaye mu gihe cyatambutse, ibyo byiyumviro bishobora kugira uruhare rukomeye ku buzima bwawe bwa none. Ikibazo nuko iyo wumva wicuza ku mahitamo wakoze mu gihe cyarangiye, rimwe na rimwe ushobora kubura ibyishimo mu gihe cy’ ubu.

Ugiye kumenya byinshi byerekeye kwicuza, ikibitera, n’ icyo wakora ngo uhangane nabyo.

Kwicuza ni iki?

Kwicuza bisobanuye amarangamutima yibanda ku myumvire y’ uko ibyabaye mu gihe cyashize byari kuba mu bundi buryo kugira ngo bivemo icyo umuntu yifuzaga.

Ni ugutekereza uti “iyaba byaragenze kuriya”, hari kuba itandukaniro mu buzima bwanjye. Rimwe na rimwe, iyo mitekerereze isobanuye ko washimye amahirwe wari wagize, ariko kurundi ruhande ukigaya kubera utayakoresheje.

Ibiranga kwicuza

• Byibanda ku gihe cyashize

• Ni amarangamutima yuzuye umubabaro

• Kwicuza byibanda ku biba mu buzima

• Bitera kugereranya ibintu

• Akenshi birangwa n’uko umuntu yigaya.

Impamvu kwicuza bibangama ni ukubera, ari uko biteye, bituma umuntu yumva hari ikintu yari gukora, amahitamo amwe yari kugira cyangwa ibindi bikorwa wari gukora byari gutuma ubona ibyiza cyangwa wirinda ibintu biteye ubwoba.

Kwicuza si ukwifuza ko ibintu byari kugenda neza kurusaho, ahubwo bijyana no kumva wigaye kandi wishinja.

Kwicuza ni ikintu kigoye kucyumva, ariko abahanga basobanura ko bigira umumaro iyo umenye neza uko wahangana nabyo kandi bikagufasha kugira amaihitamo meza mu bihe bizaza.

“Nta kwicuza” ni imvugo ikoreshwa na benshi, yerekana ko kwicuza ari uguta imbaraga n’ umwanya. Biboneka mu mico itandukanye kandi iyo mvugo ishobora gukwirakwizwa ku mbuga nkoranyambaga n’ ibyamamare.

Kubwa Daniel Pink, umwanditsi w’ igitabo “The Power of Regret” (imbaraga zo kwicuza), iyo mvugo si yo 100%. Uwo mwanditsi avuga ko kwicuza atari ikintu kibi, ahubwo bishobora kugirira abantu umumaro. Kubwa Pink, kwicuza ni isoko y’ amakuru adasanzwe. Iyo akoreshejwe neza, ashobora kukuyobora, kugutera imbaraga kandi bikakwigisha kugira amahitamo meza mu gihe kizaza.

Uko wahangana no kwicuza

Mu gihe utakwirinda kwicuza, hari ibintu wakora ukagabanya ibyo byiyumviro. Cyangwa ntibibe ikibazo, ahubwo ukabihinduramo amahirwe akomeye yagufasha gukura no guhinduka.

Kwicuza akenshi birangwa n’ umubabaro, ariko bishobora kugira umumaro cyangwa bikaba imbaraga igusunika mu buzima bwawe. Urugero; kwicuza bishobora kugutera imbaraga. Bishobora gutuma utsinda amakosa wakoze mu gihe cyashize cyangwa ugafata ingamba zo kuyakosora ngo ntibizasubire.

Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko kwicuza wagize cyangwa gukeka ko uzicuza bishobora kugira uruhare rukomeye ku myanzuro uzafata mu gihe kizaza. Imbaraga zo kwirinda kwicuza mu gihe kizaza zishobora gutuma ufata imyanzuro ibereye.

Itoze kwiyakira

Kumenya no kwakira ibyo wiyumvamo ni ingenzi. Iyo wakiye uko umeze n’ uburyo wiyumva, ubasha kumenya ko agaciro kawe kadasobanurwa n’ amakosa cyangwa ibyo utagezeho.

Kwakira uko umeze n’ amarangamutima yawe ntibisobanuye ko udashaka guhindura ibintu cyangwa gukora neza. Ahubwo bisobanuye ko ufite ubushobozi bwo kumenya ko uri kwiga, guhinduka no gukura.

Incamake

Ibuka ko ibyabaye mu gihe cyashize bidakwiye kugira uruhare mu hazaza hawe, kandi ufite ubushobozi bwo gukora amahitamo meza mu gihe kizaza.

Itoze kwiha imbabazi

Kubera ko kwicuza bijyana no kwishinja no kwigaya, kubona uburyo wibabarira bishobora kugabanya amarangamutima mabi yatewe no kwicuza. Kwibabarira bigendana no kureka umujinya, kwiyanga cyangwa kumva waritengushye wowe ubwawe.

Kwemera amakosa wakoze ni igice kimwe cyuru rugendo, ariko kwibabarira bisaba kwigirira impuwe. Aho kugira ngo wihe igihano kubera ayo makosa, igirire impuhwe n’ imbabazi nk’ uko ushobora kubigirira abandi.

Ushobora kandi kubikora witaye ku makosa wakoze, ukerekana agahinda ariko ukagira gahunda yo kwisubiraho. Nta bushobozi ufite bwo guhindura ahahise ariko ugatera intwambwe yo gukora neza mu gihe kizaza bishobora kugufasha kwibabarira no kujya mbere, aho guheranwa n’ amateka.

Ca bugufi ku makosa wakoze

Icyiyongera ku kuba wakwibabarira, bishobora kugufasha ugerageje gusaba abandi imbabazi ibikorwa cyangwa imyanzuro yawe bishobora kuba byaragizeho ingaruka. Ibi byagufasha cyane cyane niba kwicuza ufite bishingiye ku makimbirane cyangwa ibindi bibazo bishobora guhungabanya amarangamutima n’ agahinda.

Guca bugufi, ugasaba imbabazi kandi ubyiyumvamo bishobora gutuma undi muntu amenya ko wicuza kandi witaye ku buryo amerewe.

Gira icyo ukora

Inzira imwe yo guhangana no kwicuza ni ukubikoresha utera imbaraga ejo hazaza. Wite ku byahindutse cyangwa wakoze mu buryo butandukanye, aho kuguma wibanda kubyo udashobora guhindura, ubifate nk’ amahirwe yo kwiga bityo bizagufashe gukora amahitamo meza mu gihe kizaza.

Mu by’ ukuri, ushobora kuba utarafashe imyanzuro myiza mu gihe cyatambutse kubera ko utari ufite ubumenyi buhagije, nta burambe wari ufite cyangwa ukaba utaratekezaga ku bishobora kuva mu mahitamo wagize. Wafashe umwanzuro ugendeye kubyo wari uzi n’ ubushobozi n’ amakuru wari ufite muri icyo gihe.

Wiyibutse ko ubu bitewe n’ ibyo wize mu gihe, ubu ufite ubumenyi ukeneye kugirango ukore amahitamo meza mu gihe uzaba uhuye n’ ikintu wahuye nacyo mu gihe cyashize.

Incamake

Wibuke ko ibyabaye mu gihe cyatambutse bidafite aho bihuriye n’ ahazaza kandi ufite ubushobozi bwo guhitamo neza ejo hawe hakaba heza.

Hindura ibitekerezo

Ubu ni uburyo bushobora kugufasha guhindura imyumvire no guhindura uburyo utekereza ku bintu unyuramo. Ubu buryo bushobora kugufasha guhindura uburyo ubona ibintu, ukigirira impuhwe kandi ugahereza agaciro amarangamutima yawe. Bishobora kandi kugufasha kubona ibintu byawe mu buryo bwiza kandi ugatsinda ibitekerezo bituma ubaho nabi.

Nkuko Pink yabyanditse mu gitabo “No regrets” (nta kwicuza), guhindura ibitekerezo si ukwirengagiza kwicuza. Ahubwo ni uguha agaciro no kumenya amakosa wakoze ko yakugize uwo uri we nonaha.

Bivuye mu guhindura ibitekerezo, kwicuza ubibona nk’ amahirwe meza yo kugufasha kugira ubwenge no gukomera. Si ukuvuga gusa ko utahindura imyanzuro wafashe ahahise, ahubwo bijyana no kumenya ko amahitamo wakoze yafashije kwiga kandi ukazabasha ufata imyanzuro myiza mu gihe kizaza.

Incamake

Guhindura uburyo utekereza ku bintu byabaye mu gihe cyatambutse bigufasha kubona kwicuza mu bundi buryo. Aho guhungira mu byiyumviro bibi, ushobora kubona kwicuza nk’ amakuru yagufasha kujya mbere.

Ni iki gitera kwicuza?

Igihe icyo ari cyo cyose usabwa kugira amahitamo, birashoboka ko wazicuza. Ese wigeze ufata umwanzuro ukwiriye? Ese biba byarabaye byiza kurushaho? Ese uba warishimye iyo uhitamo mu buryo butandukanye?

Uko kwicuza akenshi bishingira ku kumva hari icyo wari gukora (urugero: kurya isosi cyangwa umugati ku manywa) cyangwa hari icyo wari guhindura( urugero: ukumva ko wari guhitamo undi mwuga cyangwa uwo muzabana).

Ariko se ni ki nyirizina gituma abantu bicuza ku myanzuro imwe, ntibibabeho ku yindi?

Niba imyanzuro itari mu biganza byawe cyangwa ikaba yaratewe n’ izindi mbaraga, akenshi wicuza ku rugero ruto. Impamvu ibitera ni ukumva udafite ibitekerezo bihamye no gushakira impamvu ibyabaye, kandi bikagabanya imbaraga wari gukoresha wita mu byavuye mu myanzuro wafashe.

Urugero: niba uguze ikintu uzi ko utagisubiza mu iduka, akenshi ntiwicuza. Nkuko abashakashatsi babivuga, akenshi abantu bibagirwa ibyo bari kwicuza kandi batazi ko biri kubabaho.

Nuko uba ufite amahirwe menshi yo guhindura ibitekerezo byawe, cyane cyane iyo uzi ko ushobora gusubiza icyo kintu, ugafata ikindi bitandukanye wifuzaga. Abashakashatsi babisobanura nk “ihame ry’ amahitamo”, bivuze ko iyo ufite amahirwe cyangwa amahitamo menshi aribyo bitera kwicuza.

Kuba ufite ubundi buryo cyangwa andi mahitamo bishobora kugira uruhare mu kwicuza. Iyo ufite ububasha bwo kugenzura icyo kintu butari mu biganza byawe, bishobora gutuma wicuza gake. Ariko iyo ufite amahitamo menshi, akenshi ushobora kwicuza kubera utahisemo ibindi.

Ni iki abantu benshi bagirira kwicuza?

Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe mu mwaka wa 2018, abashakashatsi bakoresheje amakuru yabitswe kera kugira ngo bamenyen ibintu biba imbarutso yo kwicuza. Ibyavuyemo byerekana ko ibintu bitandatu aribyo abantu bicuzaho kenshi kurusha ibindi, harimo uburezi, umwuga, urukundo, kurera, umuntu ku giti cye no gutembera. Hejuru y’ ibyo bitandatu, abantu bagaragaza kwicuza iyo bigeze ku bijyanye n’ amafaranga, umuryango, ubuzima, inshuti, ukwemera n’ imibanire rusange.

Igiteye amatsiko cyane, ni uko abantu akenshi bicuza kubyo batakoze kurusha ibyo bakoze. Urugero: hari ibyago byinshi byo kumva wicuza byo utahisemo nk’ umwuga runaka cyangwa kuba utaratemberanye n’ umuntu wiyumvagamo, kurusha akazi cyangwa umufasha wahisemo. Ibi biterwa nuko ibikorwa utakoze aribyo bituma utekereza icyari kuvamo.

Ingaruka z’ ibikorwa wakoze zirigaragaza, ariko ibyo utakoze ubona ari amahirwe yagucitse. Mu yandi magambo, inyungu utekereza ko wari gukura mu mahitamo utakoze ziruta izavuye mu bikorwa wakoze, bigatuma wicuza ku mahirwe utakoresheje.

Incamake

Ibyo abantu bakunda kwicuzaho ni uburezi, umwuga n’ urukundo. Ikirenzeho ku bantu bicuza kubera amahitamo batakoze, abantu bicuza ko batigeze bagira icyo bakora mu bihe byashize.

Ingaruka zo kwicuza

Kwicuza bishobora kugira ingaruka, yaba ku mubiri cyangwa amarangamutima. Kumva wicuza bishobora gutuma ugira ibimenyetso ku mubiri arimo kuribwa imitsi, kubura ibitotsi, kubura ubusake bwo kurya, kuribwa umutwe, kuribwa mu ngingo no kugira umujagararo w’ igihe kirekire.

Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko kwicuza bihoraho bishobora gutera ibibazo mu guhumeka, kubabara mu gatuza, kubabara mu ngingo n’ ubuzima busanzwe bukaba bubi.

Ikindi, guhora utekereza ku bihe byahise bishobora kugira ibimenyetso byo guhangayika, agahinda, kwiyambura agaciro, kumva ntacyo wifashije, no kubura icyizere cy’ ejo hazaza.

Ubwoba bwo gutinya kwicuza mu gihe kizaza nabwo bushobora kugira ingaruka ku myitwarire. Kwitega ko uzicuza, cyangwa kwizera ko hari ikintu kizatuma wicuza, bishobora kugira uruhare runini mu gukora imirimo wiyemeje n’ imyitwarire y’ ubuzima bwawe bwa none.

Iyo abantu batekereje gukora ikintu kizatuma bicuza, akenshi bituma hari ibyo batiyemeza. Kandi, iyo batekereje ko nibadakora igikorwa runaka (nko kwita ku buzima bwabo cyangwa gukora imyitozo), bituma bakora uko bashoboye ngo birinde kwicuza.

Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko umutu ukeka ko azicuza bishobora kugira ingaruka ku myanzuro afata ku nyungu z’ abandi. Iyo abantu bafite ubwoba ko azatenguha abandi cyangwa agatuma bicuza, akenshi bahitamo gukora ibintu bituma ibyo bitazaba.

Incamake

Guhangana no kwicuza mu buryo bubi bishobora gutera umujagararo no kugira amarangamutima ababaje. Bishobora kandi kugira ingaruka ku myitwarire yawe y’ ahazaza. Gucyeka ko bazicuza, bituma abantu birinda kugira ibyo bakora cyangwa ibikorwa bimwe na bimwe kugira ngo birinde ingaruka zizatuma bicuza.

Kwicuza ni amarangamutima umuntu bigoye kwirinda. Umuhanga Henri-Frédéric Amiel yagize ati “Emera ubuzima, kandi wemere kubyakira niba wicuza”. Nubwo kwicuza ari ikintu tutakwirinda mu buzima tubayeho cyangwa ku mahitamo dukora, ushobora kubona uburyo bwo guhangana n’ ibyo byiyumviro kandi ukaba wabibyazamo umusaruro utuma utera imbere.

Kwiga kwakira amarangamutima yawe, kwibabarira ku makosa wakoze no gufatira isomo ku byakubayeho bishobora kugufasha kugabanya ibyiyumviro bifite aho bihuriye no kwicuza. Nubwo utabaho ubuzima bwose uticuza, ushobora guhindura uburyo utekereza ku bintu wumva wari guhindura ubwo wakoraga amahitamo kandi ukiga kwibanda ku gihe cya none, bigasimbura guhora utekereza kubyo wakoze mu gihe cyashize.