Menya kandi Usobanukire n’ uburyo bwo Kureshya cg Gukururwa?

Igikundiro cg Kureshya bigira umumaro wo kutweregeza abandi bantu. Nubwo akenshi biterekerezwa ko Kureshya bigamije guhaza ubushake bw’ imibonano mpuzabitsina, hari ubwoko bwinshi bwo Kureshya abantu bakoresha mu buzima bwabo.

Kureshya bishobora gusobanurwa ko ari ukwifuza kwegera ikintu cyangwa umuntu bitewe n’ amarangamutima. Bishobora kuba ari ibikorwa by'urukundo, kugaragaza amarangamutima, gukoresha umubiri, imibonano mpuza bitsina cyangwa kugaragaza ubwenge.

Muri iyi nyandiko urabonamo ubwoko bwinshi bwo Kureshya n’ ingaruka bwagira ku buzima n’ umubano wawe.

Ubwoko bwo Kureshya cg Gukururwa

Iyo abantu bumvise ijambo Kureshya, akenshi batekereza ko bigendanye no gushaka gukorana imibonano mpuza bitsina cyangwa gukundana n’ umuntu. Batekereza ko kandi ubu bwoko bwombi bujyanirana kandi ko ari ikintu kimwe.

Ni byiza kumenya ko abantu bakururwa cg bareshwa mu buryo butandukanye.

Gusobanukirwa icyo gukururwa Kureshya ari cyo ndetse n’ ibyo wiyumvamo bishobora kugufasha kwimenya no kumva neza icyo ukeneye mu mubano wawe n’ abandi. Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko gukururwa Kureshya ari ikintu kigira uruhare mu mubano tugirana n’ abandi cyangwa guhuza mugirana iyo uhuye n’ abandi ari ubwa mbere.

Kureshya ukora cyangwa ukorwaho

Ubu ni ubwoko bwo Kureshya burangwa no kwifuza gukora cyangwa gukorwa ku mubiri. Akenshi bwubakiye ku byifuzo byo kuba hafi y’ abantu no kwerekana urukundo hamwe no kwitabwaho binyuze mu gukora ku mubiri.

Kureshya no gukoranaho si kimwe no Kureshywa n’ umuntu wifuza ko mwagirana umubano ushingiye ku mibonanao mpuzabitsina, nubwo akenshi hari icyo byombi bihuriyeho.

Nubwo kwifuza umubano ushiniye ku mibonanano mpuzabitsina uzamo kuyikora, Kureshya bishingiye ku gukoranaho byibanda ku bundi buryo butagamije inyuno zo kuryamana.

Guhoberana, gusomana n’ ibindi nkibyo, gukorana ku mubiri ni ingero zerekana uko umuntu akururwa no gukora cyangwa gukorwa ku mubiri ariko bitagamije izindi nyungu ahubwo ari ikimenyetso cyo kwitabwaho.

Kureshya mu buryo bw’ amarangamutima

Kureshya mu marangamutima byo birangwa no kumva wahuza n’ umuntu bitewe n’ imiterere ye bwite cyangwa ibindi bimwerekeyeho. Iyo amarangamutima yawe yakuruwe n’ undi muntu, akenshi wumva wifuza kugira icyo umumenyaho birambuye kubera uko ameze kandi bidatewe n’ uko agaragara inyuma.

Ubu bwoko bugira uruhare rukomeye mu mubano wihariye w’ abantu harimo ubushuti no gukundana.

Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko Kureshya mu amarangamutima bishobora gukomeza umubano w’ abankundana. Ubushakashatsi bumwe bwerekanye ko kwita ku marangamutima y’ undi muntu biruta kure kwitabwaho hagamijwe kuryamana. Iyo abashakanye babuze ibihuza amarangamutima yabo, akenshi baratandukana.

Ikindi, kuba amarangamutima yawe yakurura abandi bantu bigira umumaro mu gutangiza no kubungabunga umubano mu gihe kirekire. Iyo wumva ukuruwe muburyo bwa amaranga mutima n’ undi muntu, akenshi umubaza ibibazo kandi ukita ku bintu bimufitiye inyungu.

Iyo ukoresheje imbaraga nyinshi wita ku mubano ufitanye n’ abandi, bituma wubaka ukwizerana gukomeye kandi umubano wanyu ugatera imbere.

Kureshya mu buryo bw’ urukundo

Gukunda ni ubundi bwoko bwo Kureshya burangwa no kwifuza kugirana umubano ushingiye ku rukundo. Bitandukanye no kwifuza kuryamana, nubwo akenshi byose bijyana ku gihe kimwe. Gukunda bishobora kuboneka kandi mu kwifuza gukora cyangwa gukorwa ku mubiri no kuryamana n’ umuntu wagukuruye.

Nk’ urugero, hari abantu bumva bafite ubushake buke bwo kuba bakundana n’ abandi. HAri abandi bakunda cyane ariko hari n’ abakunda iyo hari ikintu kidasanzwe barimo cyangwa bifuza.

Kureshya mu buryo bwo kuryamana

Gukururwa no kuryamana ni ukwifuza umubano ushingiye ku gukorana imibonano muzabitsina n’ undi muntu. Bishobora gukurura irari kandi ntago bigarukira mu buzima busanzwe bw’ umuntu. Bishobora kandi kurangwa no kwifuza gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’ undi muntu mudafite aho muziranye (nko kwifuza kuryamana n’ icyamamare).

Nubwo gukururwa ku mubiri cyangwa gukundana bijyana no kuryamana, hari itandukaniro rinini riri hagati yo kumva amarangamutima yawe akuruwe n’ umuntu ndetse no kuryamana nawe.

Urugero, hari abantu batifuza gukorana n’ abandi imibonanano mpuzabitsina, ariko bakaguma bakundanye kandi bakabyishimira.

Hari uburyo bwo gusobanukirwa ko ibyifuzo byo kuryamana bitandukanye no gukunda umuntu, hagendewe kuri “split attraction model (SAM)”, birashoboka ko umuntu ashobora gukunda abantu b’ igitsina runaka, ariko bakifuza kuryamana n’ abantu b’ igitsina bitandukanye.

Inshamake

Gukururwa no kuryamana n’ undi muntu birangwa n’ ibyifuzo byo gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina. Nubwo bijyana no gukundana, byose biratandukanye. Kwifuza kuryamana n’ undi muntu bishobora kubaho nta muntu ufitiye undi urukundo

Gukururwa n’ ubwiza

Gukururwa n’ ubwiza biba iyo umuntu yizera ko umuntu cyangwa ikintu ari cyiza, kigaragara neza ariko adafite ubushake bwo kugirana umubano wihariye yaba ari ugukundana, cyangwa kuryamana.

Ushobora kubona abantu ari beza, yaba ari abo uzi cyangwa ibyamamare ukunda kubona mu binyamakuru. Ubu bwoko bwo gukururwa burangwa no kubona cyangwa kwibanda ku bwiza bw’ uwo muntu ariko ntibiherekezwe n’ amarangamutima yo kwifuza kugirana umubano n’ uwo muntu.

Gukururwa n’ ubwiza bishobora kandi kuba byerekeye ibindi bintu umuntu ahura nabyo. Ibi bituma hari ibintu ukunda kugura n’ imitako ushyira mu rugo cyangwa mu biro.

Gukururwa n’ ubwenge

Gukururwa n’ ubwenge bisobanuye gushima ibitekerezo n’ uburyo umuntu akora ibintu bye. Ubu bwoko bwo gukururwa bishobora gutuma ushaka kumenya byinshi ku muntu, kumva ibyo bavuga ku nsanganyamatsiko zitandukanye cyangwa kubigiraho ibintu bishya.

Nubwo gukururwa n’ ubwenge bw’ umuntu atari nko gukoranaho cyangwa kuryamana, hari abantu bakunda gukururwa n’ ubwenge bw’ umuntu mbere yo gukururwa n’ ibindi, yaba gukoranaho, gukururwa amarangamutima cyangwa kuryamana nawe.

Ingaruka ziterwa no Gukururwa

Ubwoko butandukanye bwo gukururwa bushobora kugira ingaruka kumyitwarire yawe muburyo butandukanye. Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko iyo abantu babonye undi muntu nkuwa bashimishije, bitera ibyifuzo byiza kubindi nku ubwenge bwabo na kamere yabo.

Mu yandi magambo, nubona umuntu agukurura, bijyana no kubona ko azi ubwenge, ashimishije n’ ibindi byinshi byiza.

Uko kumutekerezaho ibintu byiza bishobora guhindura uburyo wajyaga utekereza abantu, waba uri kugenzura uburyo wabakundamo cg gutekereza kuba wabaha akazi.

Mu bushakashatsi bumwe, abantu bavuzweho kuba bakundwa cyane bishingiyr ku mubiri usangaga bagaragara nka bafite imico myiza nko kumvikana n'umutimanama.

Umubano n’ ubwoko bwo gukururwa

Ntibyoroha gukururwa buri gihe kandi bishobora gutera urujijo rimwe na rimwe kuko ni kenshi mu buzima umuntu akururwa n’ ibintu byinshi. Kugira ubushobozi bwo kumenya ubwoko bwo gukururwa wiyumvamo, bishobora kugufasha kugenda neza mu mubano ugirana n’ abandi.

Urugero; ushobora kwisanga wishimiye umuntu mu buzima bwawe, ariko ntibivuze ko byoroshye kwemeza ibyo wiyumvamo. Kubera ko abantu akenshi bahuza gukururwa no gukunda cyangwa kuryamana, biroroshye gutekereza ko ibi byiyumviro bivuze ko uzakundana n’ uwo muntu kandi sibyo.

Kumenya neza ko ibyiyumviro byawe n’ uburyo wumva wakuruwe bishobora kugufasha gushyira ku murongo igisobanuro cyabyo. Ese waba ufite icyifuzo cyo kugirana nabo umubano ushingiye ku kuryamana? Cyangwa urashaka guhorana igihe nabo ukamenya byinshi kubyo batekereza? Cyangwa ibyiyumviro byawe byerekeza ku matsiko ufite ku bwenge bwabo?

Gusobanukirwa neza icyo gukururwa ari cyo

Hari ibintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo umenye ubwoko bwo gukururwa ufite muri wowe.

• Ubaka uburyo wiyumva: fata igihe utekereze ku marangamutima yawe kugira ngo umenye ibyo ukunda n’ ibigufitiye akamaro.

• Shyiraho umurongo ntarengwa: kwisobanukirwa no kumenya uko umera iyo wakuruwe n’ umuntu cyangwa ikintu bishobora kugufasha gushyiraho umurongo ntarengwa mu gihe ukunda cyangwa wifuza gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina no kubyo witeguye kwemera muri uwo mubano.

• Sobanukirwa impamvu: tekereza ku byo ukeneye mu mubano. Ese waba ushaka kujya mu mubano w’ igihe kirekire, cyangwa ushaka uwa akanya gato? Ese nawe ushaka gukundwa, ushaka ko muryamana cyangwa byombi? Ese ni iki uwo mubano uzakuzanira kubyo ukeneye?

• Wibuke ko nta buryo bukwiye bwo kyiyumvamo ko wakururwe: ubwoko bumwe bwo gukururwa ntiburuta ubundi, gusobanukirwa neza icyo ushaka n’ ukwifuza kwawe bishobora kugufasha kumenya umubano ukeneye kugira ngo ubone icyo wifuza.

• Gukururwa bishobora guhinduka: ni byiza kwibuka ko gukururwa bitameze nk’ ibuye. Ibyo ukeneye n’ ibyifuzo byawe bishobora guhinduka mu igihe icyo aricyo cyose. Urugero, ushobora gutangira ushaka ko wamenyana n’ umuntu gusa, ariko mwembi mugashaka ko umubano wanyu ukomeza. Urufunguzo rwa byose ni uguhozaho mu buryo muvugana kandi ukaba wariyemeje kumubwira uko wiyumva.

Inshamake

Kwimenya no gushyiraho umurongo ntarengwa bishobora kugufasha gusobanura gukururwa ufite mu mubano runaka. Tekereza neza icyo ushaka kubona muri uwo mubano kandi wibuke ko ibyo ukeneye n’ ibyiyumviro byawe bishobora guhindura igihe icyo aricyo cyose.

Ni ryari ukeneye ubufasha?

Niba ugorwa no gusobanukirwa ibiri kukubaho cyangwa ukaba utishimiye umubano wawe n’ abandi, ushobora kugana inzobore mu buzima mu muzima. Bashobora kugufasha kumenya ibyo uri kwiyumvamo n’ uburyo ukururwa bishobora kugira uruhare mu mubano wawe n’ abandi bantu.

Niba kandi ufite ibibazo mu mubano wawe, ushobora gutekereza ku buvuzi bwagenewe abubatse. Iyo mukoreye hamwe mu buvuzi muhabwa, mwese mushobora kumenya icyo buri wese akeneye. Bishobora kuba uburyo bwiza bwo gukorera hamwe kugira ngo umubano wanyu ukomere, urukundo cyangwa urugo bigatera imbere mu buryo bwiza.

Kureshya biragoye kandi hari ubwoko bwinshi butandukanye bwo gukurura ushobora guhura nabwo mu buzima bwawe. No kurenza umubano usanzwe, uburyo bwo ukururwa, bushora guhinduka cyangwa bukimuka uko ibihe bisumburana.

Kumenya uburyo wiyumva bishobora kugufasha kwisobanukirwa, ukamenya ibyo ukeneye n’ ibyifuzo byawe. Ibi bishobora kugufasha gutangira no gukuza umubano ufitanye n’ abandi aho mwumva neza icyo buri wese akeneye.